I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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