dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
