last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
