Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
