I just made out with a guy for $7.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
