Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
