Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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