i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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