Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
