I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
