Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i will never coherently bang her
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
