Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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