at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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