I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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