it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Your penis caused this!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
