I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
