Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
