I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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