i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The chlamydia really affected his face.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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