Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
