I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
