i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
A+ Viking dick
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
