K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
