I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
