I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
