I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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