Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize