FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
