ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
