You made me cry and you don't even care
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
