i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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