can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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