We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
