so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize