I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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