Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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