OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think I just shit out all my problems.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
