you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I wish you could order shots online.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
