No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
