No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Come share oat with me in your robe
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
