and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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