people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
