Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
