Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
someone get that fucking seahorse.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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