I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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