dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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