Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
