The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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