I think I won the penis lottery.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
