So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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