Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Randomize
