So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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