If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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