Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
