weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
