Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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