I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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