JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize