let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
