We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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