i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Randomize