Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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