so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
