ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
