They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
