The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
