The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize