I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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