I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Sober January is a disaster.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
