I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
