I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
