I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
