yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
