Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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