Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
