Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
