Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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