It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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