turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
