honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
