So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just want nice things and good sex
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
