what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
